How to keep freelancing when things go wrong

Life doesn't always go to plan, but we don't need to write it off. Here's a week where many things went wrong, but it ended up alright.

Photo by Sebastian Unrau on Unsplash

Early on in my relationship with my husband, I remember thinking that a good test of a new romantic tryst is to go on holiday together. The unpredictability of travel combined with being away from everything familiar reveals someone’s character. We went to Rome on our third date, and we’re together 13 years later, so it’s fair to say we sail through life well together. How well we cope with things not going to plan is also an extremely good test of our mettle as freelancers. There’s no IT department to help fix tech snafus, no HR department to help smooth over client relationships, no finance department to chase unpaid invoices.

As I was writing notes for this piece, I got seized with worry that maybe people didn’t want to hear about the gory details behind the scenes? Then two freelance writers I admire - Emma Gannon and Jenni Gritters - wrote this week about how to cope with the frustration and upset that can result from things not going to plan, and I decided if they could share the nitty gritty details, so could I.

So last week was one of those weeks that just didn’t go to plan. AT ALL. Shall we dive into it?

Monday 13 May

The week started off way too busy - this should have been my sign that I was in for a rough ride. I realised I had failed to properly time-block my agenda. I do this to ensure that I can meet my work commitments, but more importantly, to make sure that I ringfence time to see friends for lunch, exercise, go to the beach, and so on. I have such workaholic tendencies that if I don’t book in rest time, it doesn’t happen.

This week was a real chaotic mix. I had hired a home organiser to come and Marie Kondo our apartment as I’m often too busy nor have the headspace for this, except that she of course needed me with her because quite rightly, she can’t decide what to keep and what to recycle. In addition, I had a few big work deadlines, but also needed to speak with a friend with whom I was putting on an event on Wednesday - we didn’t get to speak until nearly 7pm, by which time both of us were dribbling with tiredness.

Ironically, the event we were planning was one to encourage entrepreneurs to slow down and find more time for rest.

Tuesday 14 May

After a busy morning with a migraine brewing, I dragged myself through a thunderstorm to meet a new friend for lunch, feeling pretty exhausted already wondering if I should have scheduled lunch in a busy week.

I needn’t have worried. While big groups can drain me, one on one meetups with interesting people - especially women my age where we dive straight into the deep stuff - almost always give me a huge dose of happy hormones and I came skipping home afterwards, feeling very alive.

Wednesday 15 May

While the day went well, I was fully wiped out by the end. I went to the gym, interviewed a malaria scientist, had my hair dyed at the hairdresser and then got ready for the Slow Social event in the evening. The event was glorious and it was incredible getting together a likeminded group of people together to talk about how to ease off the pedal of business ownership to find time to rest and recuperate.

But as I headed home and had another yet late night to bed, I felt my battery reserves dip very low - if I were a car, the warning light would be flashing like crazy.

Thursday 16 May

I woke up feeling like I’d run a marathon and felt a migraine brewing. I hadn’t had one of these since I was a teenager, and couldn’t figure out what had been bringing them on lately. After struggling through work in the morning, achieving very little, I lay down on the sofa, dosed up on painkillers, shut my eyes, and woke up 5 hours later.

I instantly felt guilty about work I hadn’t done - I had to email an editor I’m working with to explain I couldn’t finish a deadline. I cancelled everything else I had on except… I had dinner booked with a group of friends from the US. This couldn’t be cancelled as there were eight of us in total, so I found some energy from somewhere and soldiered on. The evening was lovely, but once again, the day ended with the warning light on my battery flashing.

Friday 17 May

It was all I could do to get to the end of the day and although I had met some deadlines this, having pushed everything else made me feel like I was massively behind. And the migraine continued. I booked in a massage in the evening, which gave me some temporary respite from the pain.

I was now well overdue writing a module for the course I’m currently teaching and as I was a few days out from teaching it, I was really starting to panic. This is the first time I’m teaching the course and I didn’t want to move a session because I hadn’t prepared properly. I had an early night, planning to work all of Saturday.

Saturday 18 May

By the weekend, my migraine and fatigue had ramped up to a ten. I would shut my eyes and kind of just pass out for hours at a time. Meanwhile, my panic at not having written my course module was also ramping up but I was utterly immobilised.

Waking up groggy on Saturday evening, I had a breakthrough. I started to journal and what emerged was something I’d been trying to ignore - a difficult conversation with a loved one that I had been putting off for a while.

I’ve had chronic fatigue in the past, and have had fatigue or pain that from time to time can emerge when I am suppressing difficult emotions. It is usually my body’s way of sounding an alarm bell that will get louder and louder until I pay attention. I had that difficult conversation that night, and immediately felt my symptoms ease.

Sunday 19 May

Pain free! The joy of my migraine retreating meant I knew I wanted to spend the day as joyously as possible. I went to the swim club at the beach in Barcelona, and spent the day there with my husband and kid, taking turns to splash around with her.

As the week began to wind down, I made a mental note of a few things. One, that even when I pushed deadlines, the world didn’t end. People understood. Second, that if I don’t plan my week properly, it ends up being exhausting and frustrating. And third, that if I don’t listen to my body and give it what it needs, it will generally tell me in unpleasant ways. And finally, no matter what happens, tomorrow is another day.