On the power of saying "I don't know"
Accepting we can't know everything all the time can tranform our work in the best way
I had been staring down at my feet watching as the sun hitting the window of my co-working space made a rainbow right across my sandalled toes, when I realised that people on the zoom call I was on were quiet, and waiting for me to respond. They’d been asking me about a new virus that was circulating - I’m a science writer for a global health organization in Geneva - and whether we should cover it.
And the thing is I really wasn’t sure. I’m usually on top of the news when it comes to science and health. But we’d moved into the sludge of summer that is Barcelona in August, when even my tired brain cells basically just pack a cool box and head to the beach. I was also parenting a kid at home during school holidays and dealing with perimenopause. While I normally would have had an opinion on this story, and I felt like I should have one, I genuinely didn’t and decided to own up to it and defer to someone else on the team.
A few years ago, admitting I had no idea about something I feel I should have known would have made me wish the Earth would swallow me whole. As a woman of colour in a field that is still predominantly white and male, I always felt I had to pedal harder than everyone else. I felt I had to be twice as good just to be perceived as an equal. Saying I didn’t know something felt to me like I’d be admitting I didn’t belong in the club.
I was also raised in the fake it till you make it world of work; the one where everyone puffs up their CV a bit to make it seem like they can do things that they have no experience in. The one where you say you can do something to get hired, then hurriedly figure it out later. It is exhausting to work this way, but it felt like everyone was doing it.
It was only when I observed the scientists I interviewed for news stories, that I noticed that the best researchers would be happy to admit they didn’t know something - in fact, that is the very basis of true scientific enquiry, to start from a place of not knowing, in pursuit of knowledge and understanding.
Being able to say you don’t know something is also a sign of confidence (and conversely, pretending to know everything is a sure indication of insecurity), so it makes sense that as I’m now a senior journalist and have been in my industry for over 20 years, I’ve reached a point where I feel secure enough to accept I don’t know everything. But I don’t think clocking up decades in a job is a prerequisite for being bold enough to admit when you don’t know something.
And being honest about what you don’t know or aren’t sure of can actually be a powerful way to build trust - as human beings, we instinctively know that no one person can know everything all the time. Looking back at the COVID-19 pandemic that I covered as a science writer, it was the perfect demonstration of how important it can be to admit the limits of our knowledge. Governments and scientists need to instill in people a sense of security and safety. They want the general public to think they’ve got it under control. The problem with a global pandemic involving a new virus is that there’s a lot we didn’t know for sure at the start.
But rather than framing recommendations as the best advice given the knowledge, guidance was sometimes presented as absolute fact. Health authorities insisted the SARS-CoV-2 virus couldn’t be spread by respiratory droplets, until it was clear that it could. Masks didn’t seem to be absolutely necessary, until it was clear that they were. Vaccines were presented as having zero side effects, until it emerged that there were some.
Every time that health advice was presented as absolute fact, only for authorities to change their mind, it undermined the public’s trust. And this is trust that in many countries has been eroding for some time now.
Ultimately, it feels to me now that saying I don’t know something is hugely liberating. It is a way of allowing me to ask others’ opinions, rely on the knowledge of those around me, and collaborate more.
I actually got a job once because I admitted I didn’t know something in an interview! He set up a test for us with an impossible task because he wanted to see how we would react. The two people who remained calm and admitted they didn’t know how to do it were hired.
Such a great perspective. It feels quite freeing to admit you don’t know. As a woman in a leadership position I have very often felt pressured to know everything about my field - marketing, which is constantly evolving! As you said, we know that one person cannot know everything. It’s a great reflection on those who pretend they do!